Combatting global warming with a Giant Sea Sponge
Had great discussion in the pub this evening and came up with a cracking business idea that’s also environmentally friendly.
We’re going to genetically modify the standard Sea Sponge and create a “Super Sea Sponge”. This new version will bring with it all the advantages of its former incarnation, i.e. lives in sea, absorbs water etc..etc.. but we’ll increase its capacity to breed rapidly and grow to 4 times the size of a regular sponge. In addition, our adult Super Sea Sponge has legs, which will enable it to walk out of the sea and wring itself out thoroughly before heading back into the sea to absorb its own size in water again. It is hoped that over the next 10-15 years we will see sea levels lower and become very wealthy in the process… (obviously we’re not in it for the money - saving the planet will be reward enough)
However, after chasing down our brilliance with a couple of JD’s we had the realisation that we might not be the first to explore this avenue of thought. Perhaps trials of a fresh water version of the Sponge are currently taking place in the South East of England, and proving more successful than anticipated - as this would go some way to explain the current hose-pipe ban in our area.
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3 Comments so far
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What if the said sponges multiplied out of control and soaked up all the world’s water?
Or, even worse, they took a liking to lager…
By benji on 07.12.06 3:36 pm
Benji your concerns are well founded but rest assured that the situations you have highlighted will never occur owing to a key point I forgot to mention in my earlier posting: a deceptively simple modification we have in mind for the sponge’s addiction gene.
This tweak in the Sea Sponge’s genetic make-up ensures that it is a compulsive gambler and not an alcoholic. And so, while they don’t drink alcohol, lager-lake levels will stay pretty stable. Their compulsive gambling habits will keep the majority of them burdened by huge debt throughout their life – and much will be owed to the loan sharks.
When the number of sponges reaches a critical level, and debts become unmanageable, the sharks will no-doubt make examples of the worst offending sponges and help return the numbers to a more profitable level. May sound harsh – but that’s the nature of ocean finance.
The result is that the number of sponges will be capped at this critical level, allowing sea-levels to be maintained at the optimum depth.
By Ian on 07.13.06 12:25 pm
Is that where the term sponger originates from then?
By Daniel on 07.13.06 1:31 pm
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